zooey.

i have taken care of kids all my life. i babysat when i was young, and it was my job throughout the teen years too. i majored in early childhood education at college. you can say, children have been my life. literally.

i have been a nanny for 9 years now, which i can't believe, it's the longest job i have ever had! anyway, i met the family through my old job, they hired me when the 2nd child was on her way.....i was the infant teacher at a daycare for the oldest, and we all bonded, i even babysat, and eventually came into their home and have been there since. 9 years later, we are going strong.

being a nanny can be zooey at times. the older they get, the crazier it gets. i don't know if it is any easier, well, in some ways it is, but in other ways.....hello exhaustion.

today was the last day of their summer vacation. i am ready for the fall. my hours (and pay) are different during the school year, but this year, i am ready for the change. just cause their older, doesn't mean it's any easier. i was good at the younger years, i had lots of practice, i went to school specifically for the birth to pre k age. now i find myself in the "tween" and pre teen stages of life. i have not been here since i was going through this stage myself! it's not easy. holy cow. i am just as exhausted now as i was when they were both toddling around the house. i also consider myself nanny to the 2 cats and 2 dogs, but they are another story in and of themselves!

so with these girls at the ages they are, sometimes, you don't know what to expect. moodiness can run rampant, at the drop of a hat (oh, and there have been some wonkers too!). likes and dislikes change with the wind. but then, there is still that peek of their younger days. the random hug, the random hand being held when you are out. i do love that last one, the random hand being held. sometimes i never know what their reaction to something might be, and sometimes i predict it dead on, and sometimes i am thoroughly surprised.

today (and last week) i was surprised. today we went to the zoo. last week the nature center. we didn't get to do much in the way of fun outings this summer, as the older they get, the more jam packed their days are, especially in the summer with camps and sports and get aways. so i crammed a few in the last week or so before school, when we actually didn't have much scheduled. today's trip to the zoo really surprised me. the younger one really wanted to go, and had been asking everyday, "is today the zoo day?". so when i told her it was today, she was like "yes!!". so was the older one. what really got me was their reactions to the animals at the zoo. in the past, a lot of times it would be "oh look a giraffe, ok, next." today, they had genuine excitement, as they reacted to what they saw. it reminded me of the days when they were younger, closer to my niece's age of 3, when we would see the animals; there was the excitement. the comments. the "oh, let's go to that area!" excitement of what was next on the list to see. i think what floored me was the excitement of wanting to ride the train. and of all of us, guess who suggested it? the pre teen. so we did the train. i let them do a lot today that we have not done since they were a lot younger. it had actually been about 2 years since we went to the zoo, due to school and summer schedules, so maybe it was "new" to them again. but i think today they were just more in the moment. in the past, we always had limits. one special treat such as feeding the birds, or riding the train, or going in the gift shop, or feeding the seals. and the last few times we did go (albeit a year or so ago), none of those were even a choice b/c i didn't have the cash, or there was no interest. so today, for really the first time with them, i allowed them to do "the treats", and did them without limits (except we didn't eat any special junk food, much to their dismay, so there were limits on that and what they could spend in the gift shop!). they fed the birds, they rode the train (and insisted i come with them, when really, they were old enough to do it alone, and sadly, we can't all sit together as we are all too big!), we would have fed the seals but we got there at a non feeding hour. i guess what i am trying to say is that it was so nice and refreshing to still see that childhood innocence in them today at the zoo. sometimes it's hard to come by now a days. oh, there were other giggles too.....the realization of tampon machine in the restroom by the younger one, knowing what animals were males by just looking a them. all that fun stuff. the younger one, the tween, is always good for a giggle.

as exhausted both mentally and physically, sometimes emotionally, as i am (the last couple of years have probably been the hardest on my job yet, for a variety of reasons), i still love these girls like they were my own.

my favorite part of this day was walking along the paths, with hands randomly holding mine, walking along, and suddenly, there is a hand grabbing mine as we walked along. one on the left, one on the right. i try to savor these moments because tomorrow, is a whole nother day, with new attitudes abound.

it was a good last day to summer.

and way better than the day before the last day of summer (yesterday) for sure.