remembering 9/11.

it's hard to believe it has been 10 years since september 11th. the day that changed all of our lives. do you remember where you were? i do. i was at work, like most others were.

i didn't lose anyone due to the events of that day, i did know of a friend who was vacationing in nyc that day. she was there for the events, but was able to make it home safely in the following days, unharmed. my mom has a friend on long island, but she was ok too.

i remember i was at work when the events played out. i worked in a daycare in the infant room. my assistant director (and also a good friend) came in telling me planes had flown into the world trade center towers, but wasn't sure if it was terrorism or not. a little while later she came in and told me about the plane going down in pennsylvania. i didn't really understand what was going on, and i just went about my day. a few parents came to get their kids, but i don't recall too many leaving. my bff and coworker came in around 10:30 that day, and told me about the towers and the towers falling. i still didn't quite comprehend it all. i honestly don't remember much, i must have blocked it out, or i was very busy caring for the babies that day, which was normal everyday!

i didn't quite "get it" til i was driving home, and turned on the radio and hearing about all the smoke. i can still see myself driving up the road to the freeway, to go home, hearing that. i also called my mom to see what she could tell me. when i got home, i was finally able to see (6 hours later) what exactly happened. what hell nyc was. then it hit me what happened. what horror. i couldn't imagine being in nyc witnessing that. or in washington d.c. seeing the pentagon damage. or the field in pennsylvania. i know i immediately felt sadness and scared, especially for those people on the planes and in the buildings and those trying to get out.

i remember either that night, or in the following days seeing senators or state representatives, i forget exactly who, at the end of a news broadcast, singing "god bless america" on tv, on the steps of the capitol in washington, d.c.

i remember how quiet the skies were when all planes were grounded. it was eerily quiet.....we get quiet a few planes flying overhead each day.

i didn't go through anything compared to what the families of those who lost their lives that day, or even those who experienced it firsthand, but i did have some lasting effects of the influence of what happened. i remember having a nightmare, that we were invaded again. in this dream, as my house is near a lake (you can see lake erie from my window), that we were being attacked again, this time from the lake. there were big battle ships and in my dream, i knew they were getting us again. i can still vividly see the image that was in that dream, and the sound of the motors in the eerie quiet night in the dream as they approached the shoreline. there was more to the dream, but that is what i can remember. i had such a scared feeling in that dream. i remember waking up quite scared, but relieved it was a dream.

to this day, if i see a low flying airplane, or even hear one that is low flying, or just loud, and sounds like it is close, i get an uneasy feeling, wondering if something is wrong, again. it's just an automatic feeling i have now, anytime i see or hear big, low flying planes....or really loud ones.

last night i was watching footage on the internet of that day. the phone calls that were made from the towers, asking for help. the video of the planes crashing into the building, and video of people hanging out of windows and jumping. last night, even though it is 10 years later, it really hit, exactly what happened. i am not sure why i am really starting to realize what happened, i did understand and know what happened, but for some reason, it has really hit. maybe it is all the talk of the 10th anniversary and the new terror alerts, or maybe it was just something i blocked in my mind because of the horror.

3 months after 9/11 i spent a day in nyc with my friend. we didn't go to ground zero, even though i wanted to, but she wasn't ready to. we did see it from atop the empire state building. well, we saw "where" it was, as we didn't get that far downtown. i am glad we still went on that trip. we almost didn't.

anyway, i wrote all this to say, that i remember and won't forget. i am thankful for what others have done for our freedom. i am proud to be american. i am proud of america on that day, for standing strong through a horrible time.

god bless america. land that i love.