Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter,
you used to bring me?
Why can't I hear music play?
My world is changing.
I'm rearranging.
Does that mean Christmas changes, too?
Oh
Where are you Christmas?
Do you remember,
the one you used to know?
I'm not the same one.
See what the time's done?
Is that why you have let me go?
(faith hill)
i have been feeling this part of the song by faith hill (from the people version of the movie the grinch). i didn't put up my big tree this year, or any decorations, it just seemed exhausting and overwhelming. i did manage to get a table top tree, it's live and it smells good, and it gives me a smile, as do the holiday lights on houses i see as i drive home each night, their brightness brightens me. i have found myself hearing the joyful holiday songs on the radio, and more than once, as i drive, or in another case, as i rode in the back passenger seat of a car, i felt tears come out of my eyes. that was a first. i do not dwell in my funk, it's been a year long struggle, as i know it could be so much worse (thankful it's not), but it's there, and harder on the colder, dark days. definitely some seasonal affective disorder there. i am trying to keep my chin up, take deep breaths, RUN it out, talk it out, and find happiness in simple things. exhausting and overwhelming. 2 words i have found myself using more and more this year. anyway, when i heard this part of the song, it sort of hit home for me this year.
i have been feeling this part of the song by faith hill (from the people version of the movie the grinch). i didn't put up my big tree this year, or any decorations, it just seemed exhausting and overwhelming. i did manage to get a table top tree, it's live and it smells good, and it gives me a smile, as do the holiday lights on houses i see as i drive home each night, their brightness brightens me. i have found myself hearing the joyful holiday songs on the radio, and more than once, as i drive, or in another case, as i rode in the back passenger seat of a car, i felt tears come out of my eyes. that was a first. i do not dwell in my funk, it's been a year long struggle, as i know it could be so much worse (thankful it's not), but it's there, and harder on the colder, dark days. definitely some seasonal affective disorder there. i am trying to keep my chin up, take deep breaths, RUN it out, talk it out, and find happiness in simple things. exhausting and overwhelming. 2 words i have found myself using more and more this year. anyway, when i heard this part of the song, it sort of hit home for me this year.
2 comments:
Maggie, I struggle with SAD as well. This post makes me want to give you a great big hug and a huge cup of cocoa! I have difinitely had winters/Christmases where I have felt this way. This year I have been in a much better place and it feels good. It sounds like you have good coping strategies and sometimes you've just got to let the cry out. {HUGS} to you Maggie.
Maggie, I love you and would do anything in this world to help you. Turn to God -- He will lead you out of your funk and back to where you and He want you to be. I speak from experience.
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